


Can't Let Sleeping Doors Lie

by VulpusTumultum



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, Humor, Inspired By Tumblr, Puns & Word Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 22:12:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3504629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VulpusTumultum/pseuds/VulpusTumultum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a really silly thing, inspired by a <a href="http://bakafox.tumblr.com/post/112735905361/so-basically-dorian-is-good-at-raising-literal">screencap that came across my Tumblr dash in which Dorian apparently raised a door rather than a corpse in somebody's game</a>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <img/></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Original poster/owner of the pic is herbaeus on Tumblr</p><p> </p><p>Inspiring, no?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Let Sleeping Doors Lie

"Bull, care to knock and let them know we’re here?"

The warrior laughed, “You got it, Boss,” he agreed, and flexed his shoulders, swinging the sledge that he’d taken from the Avvar leader weeks ago and bringing it crashing into the door.

Admittedly, it was an outer fortress door- and Bull alone wasn’t going to bring it down, but still, it was an impressive first ‘knock’. A blast of fire from Dorian, a splintering jar of alchemical cold from the Inquisitor to help make the sturdy wood more brittle, and then a second and third knock though- yeah that did the trick. There was the usual cloud of splinters, and Bull moved enough to the side that Blackwall could be ready with his shield for any counter attack from within. Almost immediately, arrows were bouncing off the metal, and then there was the slam of shields against shield and sledge, as heavily armored guards charged to shove the human and Qunari warrior back.

A mage was in the courtyard, along with archers- but even as more men crowded into the doorway melee, Dorian and Inquisitor Lavellan began to deal with them, the mage’s fire magic easily streaking harmlessly around the scrum to set the archers ablaze, and the Inquisitor’s arrows finding their way to the mage, without much more apparent effort.

The scrum in the passageway was tight enough that Blackwall and Bull were pushed back, but the enemy were having to step over- or in- bodies of their fellows- and Dorian was about to see to it they’d also have to start fighting one of those bodies.

Well, that was how it usually worked. A Venatori’s lucky shot got past the fighters and grazed along the mage’s shoulder as he quickly deflected it with a staff sweep- maybe that was just enough of a distraction. There was the flare of spirit magic, as the cast spell went off, inviting spirits to come across the veil and have some fun. But this time, instead of a corpse rising to fight, well- the door was there again, blocking the way, whether due to a miscalculation in spell location, or the spirit involved being a bit weird. 

And it was fortunate at least, that due to the enemy pushback, Bull and Blackwall back on the ‘outside’ of it. They cut down their current opponents even as from the other side, there was thudding into the wood and shocked exclamations.

Blackwall and Bull took another step back, and warily turned part of their attention to the two behind them.

”..Dorian, what the hell just happened?” Inquisitor Lavellan asked, staring at the doorway.

The Venatori inside the fort slammed into the door. It was battered looking, and glowed eerily, giving off a fog. It shuddered in the frame, but didn’t yet break down again.

"I.. that has honestly never happened before," Dorian sounded torn between surprised and just outright affronted.  
"Well yes, so how did you raise a bunch of wood now, and how long is it going to stay up?" she asked impatiently, irritation not making her think about how she might have sounded to some.

There was a pause that seemed a lot longer than it probably really was, the sound of the enemy still trying to smash the ghost door back down seeming far more background and faint.

Blackwall snorted. Bull started to grin.

"Oh for the love of…" Dorian glared at the other two men and started to answer their leader. "Not much longer, probably, they are damaging it and- NOT A WORD-“ 

But really, nothing could have stopped them. Certainly not the mere glare of a powerful Tevinter mage who knew exactly where minds were going to go:

"Hey, middle of a battle, probably best the wood doesn’t stay up for more than a few minutes, nothing to be ashamed of."

"I hate you."

"Now why WOOD you say something like that?” the Qunari asked with barely even an attempt at feigned innocence.

"Yes, don’t be so hard on him in public, save that for later." Inquisitor Lavellan had finally caught up, and started to grin as well. Blackwall just laughed openly, and yes, dirtily, like only an old soldier could.

"I hate all of you."

**Author's Note:**

> Postscript:
> 
> Later Cole gives the necromancer a puzzled look, and asks why the Inquisitor keeps thinking of him as "Door-ian". 
> 
> The facepalm and groan is epic.


End file.
